Carsick

January 1, 2013

Being carsick is one of the worst feelings in the world. Probably second behind being hungover. It's a sickening feeling in the chest, one that stops you from thinking about anything else. The harder you try to look away, the more it pushes you around.

You open the windows. You turn on the AC. You close your eyes. You sink back into your seat. No matter how much you fidget, it won't get out. It turns into helplessness. You have this thing churning inside you and there's no way to get rid of it.

You can't do anything else. You can't read. You can't pay attention to a conversation. You can't even sleep, or enjoy the scenery in peace. All you can think about is it.

Sadness is the same. You can't think or do. You're consumed by it. You lay in bed and pull the covers over your head but it doesn't go away. You take a shower but it doesn't go away. You take a walk outside but it doesn't go away. You sit and stare at the wall. You eat a tub of ice cream. You're numb. You're a walking shell of your happier self.

And then before you know it, it's gone. You don't realize it when it leaves. It's just that suddenly, you can breathe easily. That thing living in your chest has packed and left. You're free to go back to doing whatever you were doing. You're free to live, to laugh, to do good work. To read and watch and sleep. Sometimes it takes a while, but it always goes. So the next time it happens, even if you can't take comfort in anything else, take comfort in that.