Compatible

November 11, 2012

You know those people that you seem to be able to talk endlessly about anything with? Even if it's about nothing. You could shoot the shit forever. You're constantly making witty remarks and inside jokes and obscure cultural references. It's like an exercise in talking and it is amazing.

These people are rare. With most people, you have to make at least a bit of an effort to keep the conversation going, and I'm guessing they're making a bit of an effort too. But it's still mostly pleasant with most people. You talk about your day, your work, and it's always fascinating to learn more about someone, so you also manage to talk mostly about them. Maybe they know that too and then suddenly you're mostly talking about yourself. But still, with most people, you don't get that high from a conversation. I think you can get better at it, so you can get it with more and more people, but there are the people where it comes natural. Treasure those people. Talk to them as much as possible.

The funny thing is, the easier it is to talk to someone, the easier it is to let it go quiet. Take a normal car ride. The easier the conversation comes, the easier it is to ride in silence. The harder it is to keep the convsation going, the more awkward the silence becomes when it does inevitably creep up.

The strange thing is that the people you have the best conversations with don't necessarily end up becoming your best friends, or friends at all. Sometimes I meet someone and we have a blast and are laughing all day, but then I don't really ever see him again. And with some of my best friends, I sometimes still feel awkward sitting in the car with them if we've run out of things to talk about.

But maybe that's a good thing. It could be too exhausting to hang out with these people all the time. When you have an awesome conversation, it feels like your mind is going a mile a minute. Maybe it's good your best friends don't all love the same movies and same books you do, so you don't have to talk about them all the time. Maybe it's good your best friends don't have the same sense of humor you do, so you don't have to be laughing all the time. You definitely need it, but you need the quiet as well.

So treasure the fact that these people exist. Know that everywhere, there are people you connect with. And try your best to find them. But treasure your friends too, for which you are friends for all different kinds of reasons. And try new things too. The best conversations are the ones in your comfort zones. If you get outside of it, you just might be able to expand it.