Debts

October 10, 2012

Debts are a scary thing. It's hard to forget them. I have a friend who I haven't talked to in a year that walked out on one that he owed me. In the grand scheme of things the debt itself was insignificant, but the act itself was anything but. Maybe that's why we're relegated to acquaintenship now. That's always a sad thing.

The thing is, this friend, in the years I had known him, he had done a lot for me. And I for him. Much fun was had, and all was good. But maybe we weren't the best of friends after all, if this one debt spun everything to the ground. I'm not angry about the whole thing, but I'm sure as hell disappointed. I think about some people sometimes. I would gladly go to any length to help them, one because I like them, and two because I'm fairly certain they'd do the same for me. And for these people, I don't care if that debt lingered forever. I wouldn't even call it a debt. Just something you do because you're friends.

But at some point in knowing these best friends of mine, in the beginning when they weren't my best friends, these things would have lived as debts. And they did. As did the things they did for me. But maybe that's how we got to where we are now. Through a series of repaying debts. To the point where we don't even think about it anymore. To the point where it doesn't matter. It's no longer even a question of trust. You feel safe around these people. And that's the most important thing. There's a fine line between getting suckered and doing the right thing.

The interesting thing is, now that you know where I'm coming from with this debt and trust thing, you can actually use it. I read this somewhere, that the nicer you are to people, the more you like them. And the way you're nice to people is to do favors for them. So in the reverse, a way to get on friendlier terms with someone is to ask them to do something nice for you. But make it small, like asking them a question, or having them go a little out of their way for you. And then go the hell out of your way to pay them back.

Thankfully this usually happens naturally. If you talk to someone for half an hour, there always happens to be something that one of you could do to help the other. And it doesn't matter who helps who. It just needs to start small. It can snowball from there. Even if it stays small, it's the track record that counts.

Oh, and the ones who don't pay you back? Just let it go. For your sake. This is one you pay yourself back for, and trust me, you'll like yourself more for it.